mom mentions that we’d probably (possibly) won’t be able to visit the us for ~10 years if we go back…eesh…the stakes are getting higher…
though I guess I’m already used to having long distance relationships with friends. that does remove the possibility of an irl meet in the near future though
then again that’s not really a possible thing in general anyway (it was kinda nice to think about tho)
they are planning to visit here next year (they’re considering bringing us back with them) so I guess that’s enough time to think about my decision and probably do a few things before then.
It’s still a pretty big thing to think about, though
I’m talking to my sis and she’s convincing me and my mom to go back to the Philippines.
I’m sort of considering it as we’re talking over, since she’s managed to shoot down all the stuff that I would see could be a problem with going back.
Like the only legit real problem would be like
1) the internet (she’s mentioned it’s not as fast, but I don’t know if it’ll be better or worse than the shit internet i have now)
2) time zone problems, I’d have to wake up early/stay up late to even talk to you guys since it’s 9 hours ahead (1PM there would be 10PM over here)
3)the one I’m really worried about, is the fact that I might not be able to come back here in the US when I do go back. (It’s complicated)
there’s also stuff like it’s sorta dirtier/more cramped over there, or that I’m not as fluent with our native language anymore (though she said a lot of people speak english anyway), or that society might be a bit difficult to get used to over there, but it’s not as important
Like, if I do go back, I’d be with the rest of my family again and I won’t have to deal with my shitty as fuck uncle anymore.
She said I’d probably not have as much problems there as I’m having here. It’s probably gonna be hard, but at least I have my actual family to fall back on
and we’d probably find a way for me to get a job/go to school eventually
(I’m sort of afraid of if there being a stigma about people having anxiety or similar things but idk)
I’m considering it, but at the same time i’m a little torn about it too.
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