Author: timetravlur

Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

lyrafay:

amandavwaller:

writtenrain:

  • Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.
  • Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable
  • At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence
  • An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

  • (while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

  • friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
    friend two: probably

  • I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED
  • If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?
  • student: my calculator is broken
    teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

  • no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar
  • (during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?  
    student 2: enough

  • teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans?
    Student: does Popeyes count?

  • my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am
  • we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!
  • Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

Tag yourself, I’m “look at my not pants.”

I’m that adult limbo. 

bumblebeebats:

baetology:

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser