Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth – Nintendo 3DS | Buy-Now!
A Choose-your-own-odyssey Feel: Starting with the creation of
your party to exploring the uncharted labyrinth of the Yggdrasil Tree,
Beyond the Myth is about choosing how your own adventure unfolds.
Gameplay Fit for a true Pathfinder: for those new to the series,
the bottom screen of the 3DS displays a Top-Down, tile-based map that
must be filled out while dungeon crawling.
Epic Turn-Based Battles: Dangerous creatures and utterly
terrifying FOEs-high-level mini-bosses, roam the labyrinth on every
floor, so prepare to test your mettle with challenging turn-based
battles.
A Magical Art Style and Score: Longtime series illustrator Yuji
Himukai and renowned composer Yuzo Koshiro return to add their signature
magic to the art and music in the game.
Language: the game features English voice-overs and English text.
it is the most wonderfully made, historically inaccurate, giddily fun, perfectly paced, goofy horror movie romance novel bullshit bonanza that has ever blessed the silver screen.
i mean it is just so beautifully full of every genre without being overwhelming. we’ve got: comedy, action, suspense, horror, romance, adventure, ancient aesthetics, and it’s a period piece. all perfectly balanced and blended into one movie.
and the characters are so LIT
we got our main babe, evelyn “motherfucking” carnahan, a super-klutz librarian, total history nerd, and certified badass/damsel in distress. she raises the dead on accident, because she cannot resist books, and has the guts to put that motherfucker back where he came from and literally saves the world. evie’s greatest hits:
“what is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?!”
*after totally destroying the library* “i’ve just made a bit of a mess in the library.”
“no harm ever came from reading a book.”
evelyn:*upon opening the tomb* “i’ve dreamt about this since i was a little girl.” rick: “you dream about dead guys?”
“oops.”
then we’ve got rick“brendan fraser” o’connell, your not-so-typical battle hardened gun slinger with a heart of gold. he seems filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel at first, but then he turns into a literal puppy, with massive heart eyes, that worships the ground evie walks on. rick’s greatest hits:
*screams at mummy*
*screams at sand*
*screams at things that are illogical to scream at*
*screams*
next is our Comedic Relief Character™, jonathan carnahan, who also rises above his trope. he’s there for the laugh sure, but is never useless. he actively helps to move the plot along and isn’t just there. he also is the farthest thing from brainless and annoying. jonathan’s greatest hits:
evelyn: “have you no respect for the dead?” jonathan: “of course i do, but sometimes i’d rather like to join them.” same.
oh and that time he was like “IMHOTEP” and saved his own ass like that was so smooth, y’all know what i’m talking about right??
then there is ardeth BAE. he is the audience rolling his eyes because *sighs* white people. he’s tired of these motherfucking mummies in this motherfucking desert. literally prettier than everyone. (he has a much bigger role in the mummy returns, but is still so fab here)
and of course THE MUMMY. imhotep. actual emo. literally carved some poetry into the back of his sarcophagus when he was buried alive with flesh eating bugs, because he is that Extra™. just wants to bring his girlfriend back to life so he can make out with her without it being treason.
and all the side characters are also gr8.
now i wanna take a moment to talk about the romance. because it is so BEAUTIFUL. like usually in action movies it’s macho man undermines girl and they bone. not here. no time for that shit.
rick and evie have such a great relationship based on mutual respect and affection. they both cater to each other’s strengths and cover each other’s weaknesses. they are the literally definition of: “those two. in a fight, they’re lethal. around each other, they melt”
what else, i could literally talk about this movie all day.
the special effects have held up pretty well. the music score is GORGEOUS. the costumes are amazing. the makeup, especially for anck su namun, OH WOW. the george of the jungle era brendan fraser sign me the fuck up. rachel weisz.
so many good things.
it’s just great.
#i secretly rate every action movie from 0 to the mummy
it’s a beautiful mess of a movie that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and transcends time and posterity as the alpha mummy movie, and to those who disagree i beseech you:
And now for an announcement from your friendly neighborhood IT worker.
If you use Ad Block Plus, you should uninstall it and download and install uBlock Origin immediately. (There are Firefox versions of all the extensions I’ll talk about here, just google ‘em. And some for IE, Edge and Opera.)
Ad Block Plus is now now only letting advertisers pay them to whitelist some ads, but is now letting advertisers pay them to put their own ads on websites INSTEAD of what you would normally see on that website.
Please remember that it’s possible to spread malware, including Crypotowall type malware, through ads on websites. Yes, ads are how websites make most to all of their revenue, but until ads can be trusted to not destroy your machine, you should not view them if possible.
Please make sure you get uBlock Origin and not just uBlock.
I also suggest installing a flash blocker like FlashControl. This will keep flash from automatically loading on websites you visit. Unfortunately, malware can be spread through just about any version of flash. Make sure you keep flash up to date, as well. FlashControl will be slightly disruptive to your browsing habits, but most things will load with just a single click. You can always disable it on a website if it’s being too disruptive somewhere.
If you really want to protect your privacy, install Privacy Badger. Privacy Badger will stop trackers / cookies from knowing who you are and where you’ve been on the internet. It also can be slightly disruptive, so if a site isn’t working correctly, disable one or both of FlashControl and Privacy Badger.
Even if you don’t want to do FlashControl and Privacy Badger, PLEASE do yourself a favor and move to uBlock Origin. Hope this helps!
Other people: uh so boring
Me, a maladaptive daydreamer: oh this is a blessing let me just listen to music and stare at my window while my mind slips away into my alternate reality
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