Touhou Games

HRtP: Asshole A or Asshole B destroyed the shrine
SoEW: What the fuck is happening here
PoDD: The greatest way to kidnap someone is to start a battle royale
LLS: You see if you try to investigate why youkai are showing up in your house you end up in alternate worlds and that’s just no good
MS: You think it’s a demonic invasion but no, it’s tourism
EoSD: Loli vampire wants to go outside, blots out the sun
PCB: Moe ghost wants to revive dead body under man eating tree, decides having snow everywhere is a good idea
IaMP: Loli Oni wants to throw a party. Solution? Mist. Everywhere.
IN: What’s the best way to stop the police from catching a wanted criminal? Replacing the moon, of course.
PoFV: You see they look like normal flowers but when you look closely you can see that there are dead people inside the flowers because Death is a lazy shit muffin and is not doing her job
STB: PAPARAZZI
MoF: Slowly losing the faith of the people? Well there’s one easy solution! HIJACK GENSOKYO.
SWR: Bored because heaven is a paradise? Alleviate that boredom by being an asshole and wrecking shit
SA: The best way to help your power crazy friend is to create geysers full of spirits to attract someone to come and beat the shit out of you
UFO: Revive Youkai Jesus pls
UNL: What the fuck is that shadow
DS: MORE PAPARAZZI
GFW: Poor Communication Kills
TD: The moral of the story is ghosts only appear when shit is fucking happening like resurrections or some fucked up shit like that now would you like to become a taoist
HM: What’s the greatest way to lift up your mood? Watch flying girls beat the SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER
DDC: “Oh man, I’m gonna have the weak overthrow the strong!” The kobito said as she believed the words of a liar…who she knew was a liar.
ISC: You see theses spellcards are supposed to be impossible to avoid but I’m a fucking cheater haha fuck you